ccsa100的部落格

害羞的台大生王國帆（中間舉手者）有著細膩的情感

台大生命科學系二年級生/王國帆

2008盛夏，是一段酷熱的假期，也是一段難以忘卻的回憶。…「育幼院的車長什麼樣子啊？」，「大概就像旁邊這台一樣吧？」「該不會就是它吧？」…諸多新鮮的人事物，就像是昨日光景一般鮮明，有歡笑，有感傷，有無奈，更有數不盡的情感轉折。

當我決定報名Gap Summer Better World的時候，內心並沒有明確的印象。天真地自以為育幼院應該像是一個小學校，有自己的操場、教室，有專 任 老師替小朋友上課。後來的事實證明，「代誌」不是像「憨人」想的那麼簡單。那些自我編織的圖譜，在遇見小朋友之後，又重新勾勒了不一樣的輪廓。

孩子們會談鋼琴、會跳街舞、會畫水彩，每個都是天生的才藝家。一首「萍聚」，翳入天聽；一副水墨，宛若天成；一套舞技，儼然是箇中好手。從美術課的表現看的出來，他們對於新鮮事物富有好奇心，更會勇於嘗試創作，緊緊抓住學習的節奏。我常常在想，他們的學習能力應該比我還好吧！也許只是對於學科沒有興趣。我也曾經想過，為什麼一個營隊要花其他營隊的二到三倍時間呢？16天耶，不是很長，但也不是很短。服務之時漸漸體會，孩子們非常渴望長期友誼，更勝於知識的敎學互動。過短的營期，大概會讓孩子有不受重視的感覺吧！「你們從哪裡來？會待多久阿？你喜歡這裡嗎？」

       令我驚訝的，還不止這幾樁。院童們平時也會到安養中心進行志願服務，院長說「手心向下，就能了解自己擁有很多」，孩子能知道自己不是一無所有。有些孩子的記憶力特佳，都會記得去年志工的事情，甚至會背誦戲劇裡面的所有台詞。我在第一天說的話，他們也沒有忘記──「哥哥，你要征服單輪車的夢想還沒有完成耶！」

說實話，要在上課中控制住30個孩子是相當困難的。知識的背景、學習的態度、專注的能力、以及個性、甚至體力的差別，都是難以掌握的因素。有些時候，高中生覺得課程太簡單無聊，寧願做自己的事；有些時候，小學生上課聽不懂，選擇跑來跑去地玩樂。雖然有人說必須對孩子嚴肅一點，我還是無法板下臉來面對著一張張天真可愛的臉龐。「跟小孩相處，就應該用小孩的方式」我一直是這麼認為的，他們讓我回憶起自己以前調皮搗蛋的日子。因為總是想讓每一個人盡量參與，請他們專心上課，儘管有時候得不到正面回應，也是得苦口婆心的勸導。台前在講話，台下也在說話，然後授課者就要用更大的音量制止，結果大家之後都說喉嚨痛。「大白鯊，閉嘴巴」只好約法三章請他們安靜下來囉！

我想，他們只是不善於表達自己的感情，而且相當害羞。常常看到孩子圍著志工有說有笑，請他們上台表演卻又是扭扭捏捏。倒是經常有意料之外的笑點出現，他們真的很會帶動氣氛。倒數第二天的晚會，在颱風來襲的夜晚大家冒雨來往，苦練已久的節目終於要登場了。難過的卻是演出後，大家圍成一圈訴說彼此的心情。還記得CCSA的洪秘書長說：「要好好把握住相處的每一刻、每一分、每一秒，不要等到離別時才哭哭啼啼。」我嘗試用笑聲緩和惆悵，淚水卻怎麼也不爭氣地盈滿了眼眶。當孩子唱起祝福，當他們牽著手不放…。

「哥哥，你明年還會來嗎？」多想答應卻又不敢，只得沉默以對。2008年7月，是記憶裡最珍貴的角落。

Reflection on Faith-Hope-Love Children’s Home

It is hot in summer vacation. In the meanwhile, it is also an unforgettable period during the time in orphanage. 「How does the car looks?」 「Just like the one nearby.」 「Should it be this one by accident?」…More and more memory flashed into my mind, as if all of which just happened yesterday.

When I decided to sign up for the program「2008 Gap Summer Better World」, I have not any distinct image about what an Children’s Home is. From my point of view, an orphanage should be like a small school, having playground and classrooms of its own. Besides, there are teachers caring for children. Nonetheless, it comes not as I had thought of. Henceforth, I have outlined other images after encountering the children later on.

To my astonishment, they are capable of dancing, drawing and playing instrument. Everyone is a talented master. For instance, street dance reveals their bodies in harmony with tempos. Some are gifted for traditional Chinese painting. Still playing piano seems a piece of cake to them. Judging from their appearance in art class, Children have curiosity over everything, and they are encouraged to give it a try. Actually, I have often pondered that maybe they can beat me in learning, only to lose interest in study. Another puzzle in my deep heart is that why does this camp last 16 days, much more time than other kinds? As far as time goes, I came to realize that children have longed for friendship, rather than just knowledge lecture. If we had just dropped by for few days, they might have felt uncomfortable though.

Additionally, children sometimes do volunteer on caring elders. As the principal says, 「To give help means you are rich」, they learn to appreciate what the own since that. Still, their ability on memory really impresses me a lot. Many children remember those volunteers last year, and some of them even memorize the lines of play we watched another day. And they do not forget what I said at the first day —「I wish to conquer the one-wheel bike.」

To be honest, it is quite difficult to have children of different ages well controlled. Diverse degrees of concentration, knowledge, interest, all of which made it hard to run a whole class smoothly. There is no time for regretting, yet. Thus we have designed another plan to have them disciplined. Even though I was told to be strict with the children, it poses a challenge for me to have harsh words on the innocent faces. In my philosophy, the best way to treat children is to act like a child, to be a friend of them.

As far as I am concerned, children do not provoke us on purpose. Instead, they try to catch attention, whereas most time children cannot express themselves well. And that is the “gap” we must overcome. Privately, most children have a good time with us volunteers. On the other hand, they easily get shy and nervous when in public. Great to my delight, children put their best foot forward in the farewell party on the day before we leave. Inevitably, our departure saddened everyone. Even if I tried to replace the atmosphere with laughter, it is hard for me to hold back the tears.

“Will you come next year?” children asked. I wish to but I could not even make a promise. July in 2008, there is memory in precious corner of my heart. Volunteer as I was, it turned out to be that I learned much more than I gave.